Sunday, February 19, 2006

Screaming and dreaming.

Okay, not screaming, but fighting. Oh, the fighting...with Mr. B...again...some more. Why do I put up with it? I don't entirely get it. No, I do get it; sometimes Mr. B is amazing and very sweet and romantic. But during last night's fight...oh, I still cannot believe what he said to me, and I'm not going to print it. The point was that he felt pressured to spend every Saturday with me and didn't like the pressure. Well, he definitely won't have to worry about me asking him to hang out any time soon. Right now Mr. B stands for "Mr. Big Dumb Boyfriend."

Last night, I had a dream that I was putting on a play, and everything was going wrong. I wasn't an actor in the play. I was a stage manager or something, running around trying to keep this calamity of a play going. At one point a pitcher of water was spilled on the stage and me, so I was trying to sneak out the back of the auditorium. Then, a child acting on the stage broke character. Instead of addressing a line to the actors on stage, the little blonde looked at me and said, "What do you think, Erin?" The spotlight operator turned the spot on me, and the audience turned to look at me. Then I began to sing:

"It happens.
Sometimes you lose track
of where you're going.
It happens.
Sometimes you lose track
of who you are.

When that happens,
stop and look around you.
Stop and look within you.
Find that guiding star.

Everyove
trips and stumbles
while walking life's highway.
Everyone
wanders and wonders,
'Am I playing the right part?'

When that happens,
stop and look around you.
Stop and look within you.
That's the place to start."

And then I woke up. Proof I've watched too many cheesy musicals? Could be.

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